Adam David: A Birth Story

Adam David

December 31st, 2013

3:35am

10lbs 3oz

21 1/2"

Oh Adam, how you kept everyone waiting and guessing! I will be honest, I did not really love that about you for those last couple weeks of pregnancy but I sure love that about you now.  I'm so happy that you got to choose your birth day, that you got to join your Daddy and Papa earthside in YOUR way, on YOUR time, and that you were kind enough to go easy on me too! What a thoughtful little guy :) You waited until 41 weeks and 5 days to show your precious little face but I think everyone would agree, you were worth the wait!

 

Your birthing day began with a typical middle of the night trip to the bathroom, I woke up at 1:00am and as I got out of bed and walked to the bathroom I felt fluid trickling down my legs the whole way. I wasn't sure if it was amniotic fluid or not at first, this had never happened to me before, I have always had the bag of water ruptured artificially so I definitely was not expecting this! At any rate, I wasn't having contractions so I decided to get back in bed and wait to see if contractions would start.  It didn't take long! I had a couple contractions that were ten minutes apart, then 7 minutes apart, then 5 minutes apart and by then I just couldn't lie down through them anymore.  I asked my husband to get me a towel so I could get out of bed without getting amniotic fluid on the floor again and he just laid in bed next time me, half asleep, and said he was looking for it.  I suggested that he look in the bathroom ;) I got out of bed and stood up and swayed through a few contractions before I decided that these were getting intense enough that I wanted to be in the water.  At 1:50am, I called our awesome midwife, Stephanie, to let her know what was going on.  She asked if I was ready for her to come and I told her I thought it would be a good idea. And then at 2:00am, my husband called your Papa to let him know it was time! He said your Papa sounded very calm and by 2:20am he texted me that they were on the way! I floated around in the birth tub, with the jets swirling the water, and breathed deeply in and out through the contractions.  I could feel you moving around inside me and remember smiling to myself as I enjoyed those last kicks.  By 2:30am, Stephanie had arrived and quickly checked on your heart tones and got to work setting up the birth supplies.  I talked and laughed with Stephanie and my husband, breathing through the contractions which were coming closer and closer together.  I remember a few of the contractions I started feeling a little "pushy" but kept breathing through them, I did not want your Daddy and Papa to miss this... and maybe I was in a little bit of denial that it could be happening so quickly! Around 3:15am, your Daddy and Papa arrived - I was happy to see them there but was deep in my work by then, I could feel you moving further down with each contraction and soon I told my husband that you were coming.  I think he was a little surprised! Within a couple of contractions, you were crowning and then I pushed your head out and said "ooh that feels better!" - which sounds so funny, but it did! And with another push, the rest of your body slipped earthside into your Papa's hands. He lifted you out of the water and just like that, at 3:35am, you and Daddy and Papa officially became a family.  They ADORE you Adam, you are one lucky little guy!

I held you while we waited for your cord to stop pulsing, since we were still attached, then your Daddy cut your cord and we got out of the tub.  While Stephanie tended to me, your Daddy and Papa cuddled with you, skin-to-skin, and got to know you a little better :)

Soon, they were ready for me to nurse you so you could get that very important first milk - I think you liked it because you nursed for quite awhile! When you were done, Stephanie weighed you - 10lbs 3oz - measured you - 21 1/2" - and checked you out from head to toe.  You checked out perfectly in every way!

When we were both stable, Stephanie and her assistant (Crystal, who didn't make it in time for the birth but who we all love!) left but I was so happy that you and your Daddy and Papa stayed for a couple more hours and that each of my children, as well as myself, got to hold you and love on you before you went home to start your life together! What a precious little blessing you are and I feel so honored to be part of your story, which is just beginning! Thank you Adam, and thank you M and C - I love you all so much and can't wait to watch you grow together.

P.S. Adam, it looks like you are settling in nicely at home!

 

36 weeks!

Today, Baby A is officially 36 weeks - full term! And yesterday, M, C, our amazing midwife and her wonderful assistant came to our home for the "home visit", signifying that Baby A is now far enough along that a homebirth is safe.  All the birth supplies have been gathered together in one place and the birth pool will be delivered on Monday! Of course, I'm not expecting any baby action for 4-5 more weeks but we are all prepared for when he decides the time is right.

M & C have had several baby showers, it is really fun for me to see all their friends and family so excited for them - what a loved little guy Baby A will be! They have taken baby-wearing classes, carefully selected baby gear, researched cloth diapers, watched birth videos, decorated the nursery and are so excited for their impending arrival! I couldn't be happier for them or more proud, they are going to be such amazing daddies, I can't wait to see them in action!

As this pregnancy is winding down, I'm experiencing many common end-of-pregnancy conundrums, maybe some of you can relate! So without further delay...

#thirdtrimesterproblems

When turning sideways to fit through tight spaces doesn't work because your front to back is wider than your side to side...

When rolling over in bed at night requires concentrated effort and rearrangement of pillows...

When, much like a potty training toddler, a trip outside of the house must be planned around the availability of restrooms...

When any change of body position is likely to result in a snap, crackle or pop...

When every random stranger you happen to speak more than 3 words to, asks when you are due and what you are having...

Happy end-of-pregnancy, friends! I can see the finish line!

Ramblings of a Surrogate

The most common question I get from those who don't understand surrogacy is "but isn't it going to be hard for you to give up the baby?" I always answer simply "no, it's not, because it's not my baby."

Confession: I don't often think about being pregnant.  This is a complete 180 from my own pregnancies where I walked around giddy with excitement, constantly planning, from the moment the pregnancy test showed 2 lines.  I'm not looking at what stage of development the baby is in each week.  I'm not picking out baby names, researching baby gear or preparing my children for a sibling.  I'm not calculating how many years the new baby will be behind his/her youngest sibling in school and if they'll share any high school years together.  I'm not planning how to best set up the mini crib next to our bed, who the baby will eventually room with or which spot is best for baby's car seat in the car. 

These things don't make me happy or sad, they are just facts.  They are WHY it's not going to be hard for me to "give up the baby", because it's NOT my baby, it never has been, it was never intended to be! I'm not planning for and dreaming about having a new little one around...M & C are!

I do LOVE hearing how M & C are preparing for their new little one, their excitement and the newness of everything to them.  Sometimes they tell me things that make me silently chuckle, the naiveté of first time parents, having been there myself...oh some of the silly things I did! Sometimes I offer advice, maybe I can save them some of the trial and error, but in the end I know that this is THEIR journey, THEIR baby story, and finding their own way will make them more confident parents.  And they are going to be amazing.

P.S. Gender scan is scheduled for June 29th! Any guesses?

First ultrasound!

We had our first ultrasound this morning which revealed one tiny little belly bean, measuring right on track and nestled in the perfect spot - we even got to hear its little heart beating away at 111bpm!

 Little baby, measuring 4mm

 

 

As a seasoned mom of 4, the "glop glop glop" of the fetal heart beat is a familiar, albeit reassuring, sound to me - but to hear and see the reactions of M & C as they heard their much-loved baby's heart beating for the first time was PRICELESS, absolutely priceless.  I feel so honored to be on this journey with them and can not wait to hear that "glop glop glop" many more times!

Baby's heart rate (at the bottom)

Fortunately, I won't have to wait long! We go back next Monday for a repeat ultrasound and if everything still looks good - we'll be "graduating" and will be released to the care of my AMAZING midwife for the duration of the pregnancy.

Donor Egg Thaw & Fertilization Results

Yesterday morning I received a text message from M with the somewhat disappointing news that only 4 of the 6 frozen donor eggs survived the thaw.  *sigh* Not how we were hoping to get this started! Of course we agonized all day yesterday, then today we got the exciting news that ALL FOUR EGGS FERTILIZED! *happy dance*

So things are looking good right now, we just have to wait and see how the four little survivers grow!  Hopefully they'll do well and we can do a day 5 transfer on Thursday, we should know more by Tuesday!

"I'm really happy with everything I see here..."

...said the doctor to the surrogate, while checking out her uterus via ultrasound.

Today was my last appointment with Dr. L until transfer day, which we can now officially say is next week (thanks to M for pointing that out to me!), and Dr. L is super happy with how everything looks - which is awesome to hear.  Gotta love when your uterus cooperates!

This weekend is going to be very exciting! On Saturday, the clinic will thaw 6 eggs from M and C's selected egg donor (which were frozen after a previous cycle).  According to Dr. L, stastically, 5 or 6 are expected to survive the thaw.  Because freezing of the eggs can make the outer layer of the egg harder to penetrate, they will be using ICSI to help encourage fertilization.  Typically, they will check for fertilization 24 hours later - so Sunday morning.  Again, statistically, they expect about 2/3 of the eggs to fertilize.  This should leave us with 3 or 4 embryos.  Dr. L will want to see which embryo will be the best to transfer so they will observe the embryos over a 3 to 5 day period.  Some of them will not grow and there is a small chance that we will only be left with one embryo by day 3, if that's the case, we will do a day 3 transfer on August 28th.  More likely, they will continue to grow the embryos until August 30th, which will be day 5, or the blastocyst stage.  At this stage it is easier to select the best one to transfer.  Depending on the thickness of the outer layer of the selected embryo, the embryologist may perform an assisted hatching procedure immediately before transfer, to help encourage implantation.  Any remaining embryos will be frozen for future use.

Then the agonizing wait until I can take a pregnancy test begins!

P.S. Read the links above if you have the time, the science behind all this is really fascinating!