5 days and counting (only a surro would be excited about this)!
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Sonohysterogram & Mock Transfer
Today was my sonohysterogram. I'm not going to lie - I was nervous about it, primarily because Dr. Google was leading me to believe it was everything from a walk in the park to worse than childbirth. I didn't have this particular procedure done with my previous surrogacy journey and my Google search wasn't exactly reassuring so yes, I drove to the clinic a complete ball of nerves. I park my car, walk to the office, open to the door and who do I see? M & C! I was not expecting them to be there at all, they live 30 minutes away and there was nothing needed from them at this appointment but they came, and I'm so glad they did because after about 2 minutes - I wasn't nervous anymore! They had a song and dance about being out running errands but I'm not buying it, they just came because they're awesome (I'm on to you guys)!
Before he did the sonohysterogram, Dr. L did a mock transfer. During the mock transfer he inserted the same type of catheter into my uterus that he'll use for the embryo transfer - to determine the depth of the uterus and the best way to insert the catheter to get the embryo where it needs to be to give it the best chance to implant. It went off without a hitch - Dr. L said it was easy and we agreed that easy is good! The sonohysterogram was actually pretty cool, I thought it was neat to watch it on the ultrasound. I could see him insert the smaller catheter and release the saline into the uterus. This causes the uterus to "blow up", sort of like a balloon, so Dr. L can better visualize the inside of the uterus and evaluate for polyps or fibroids that could interfere with implantation. Everything looked normal so we're good to go. And for the record, whoever said it was worse than childbirth must have had the epidural because it was a lot closer to a walk in the park.
Before he did the sonohysterogram, Dr. L did a mock transfer. During the mock transfer he inserted the same type of catheter into my uterus that he'll use for the embryo transfer - to determine the depth of the uterus and the best way to insert the catheter to get the embryo where it needs to be to give it the best chance to implant. It went off without a hitch - Dr. L said it was easy and we agreed that easy is good! The sonohysterogram was actually pretty cool, I thought it was neat to watch it on the ultrasound. I could see him insert the smaller catheter and release the saline into the uterus. This causes the uterus to "blow up", sort of like a balloon, so Dr. L can better visualize the inside of the uterus and evaluate for polyps or fibroids that could interfere with implantation. Everything looked normal so we're good to go. And for the record, whoever said it was worse than childbirth must have had the epidural because it was a lot closer to a walk in the park.
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Looking Ahead While Reflecting Back
Today, my oldest daughter is celebrating her 12th birthday, and I am reflecting back on 12 years of being a parent. I won't say that it has always been easy, but it has always been worth it - I would pour the blood, sweat and tears out over each of my four children a million times over if it meant I could still be their mommy. Going through the journey that I am on now, I can't help but reflect back on the past 12 years and think about M & C, and the journey that they are just starting to embark on.
To some, surrogacy is nothing more than a business deal. For whatever reason, the Intended Parents and/or the surrogate don't desire to build a relationship with one another. Often their respective locations are an issue, sometimes there is a language barrier, some intended parents just want their baby and that's it...whatever the reason, it happens.
Obviously, first and foremost, this is about helping M & C become parents. But for me, I wanted to find Intended Parents that were local - not only so we could more easily build a relationship, but also because I want to be able to see the look on their faces when they hear their child's heartbeat for the first time, when they see their child's karate moves on the ultrasound, when their child takes his or her first breath of life. I am almost giddy with excitment, waiting for the moment when M & C get to hold their little bundle of joy in their arms and feel for their child what I feel for my children. If you're a parent, you know what I mean. It's going to be incredible - there is no greater love. I also hope to hear all about their child's first steps, first successful potty trip, first day of kindergarten, and all the other "firsts" that I have experienced with my own children throughout the years.
That will all come in time - but for today, happy birthday to my own "little bundle of joy"...even if she isn't so little anymore! And to M & C - sleep while you can my friends, sleep while you can.
To some, surrogacy is nothing more than a business deal. For whatever reason, the Intended Parents and/or the surrogate don't desire to build a relationship with one another. Often their respective locations are an issue, sometimes there is a language barrier, some intended parents just want their baby and that's it...whatever the reason, it happens.
Obviously, first and foremost, this is about helping M & C become parents. But for me, I wanted to find Intended Parents that were local - not only so we could more easily build a relationship, but also because I want to be able to see the look on their faces when they hear their child's heartbeat for the first time, when they see their child's karate moves on the ultrasound, when their child takes his or her first breath of life. I am almost giddy with excitment, waiting for the moment when M & C get to hold their little bundle of joy in their arms and feel for their child what I feel for my children. If you're a parent, you know what I mean. It's going to be incredible - there is no greater love. I also hope to hear all about their child's first steps, first successful potty trip, first day of kindergarten, and all the other "firsts" that I have experienced with my own children throughout the years.
That will all come in time - but for today, happy birthday to my own "little bundle of joy"...even if she isn't so little anymore! And to M & C - sleep while you can my friends, sleep while you can.
Friday, July 20, 2012
Calendar!
Wow! This clinic is really on top of things...we met with them for the first time on Tuesday morning and by Thursday evening we had our calendar for our IVF cycle and A PLAN! I love having a plan!
So here it is: I start daily Lupron injections in 11 days (July 31st)! Then I add in Estrogen patches starting on August 7th. M & C have selected an egg donor from our clinic's frozen egg donor program - those frozen eggs will be thawed and fertilized on August 25th, which is when I'll stop the Lupron injections and begin daily Progesterone injections (both the Estrogen and the Progesterone support will continue through the 12th week of pregnancy, if we are successful). The embryos will be grown to the blastocyst stage, they will use assisted hatching to help encourage implantation after the transfer. The transfer is scheduled for August 30th!
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On another fun note...I told my 5 year old yesterday about M & C, and me trying to help them have a baby. I told her the baby would have two dads and she said "Wow! That baby is so lucky! Dad's are FUN!"
So here it is: I start daily Lupron injections in 11 days (July 31st)! Then I add in Estrogen patches starting on August 7th. M & C have selected an egg donor from our clinic's frozen egg donor program - those frozen eggs will be thawed and fertilized on August 25th, which is when I'll stop the Lupron injections and begin daily Progesterone injections (both the Estrogen and the Progesterone support will continue through the 12th week of pregnancy, if we are successful). The embryos will be grown to the blastocyst stage, they will use assisted hatching to help encourage implantation after the transfer. The transfer is scheduled for August 30th!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On another fun note...I told my 5 year old yesterday about M & C, and me trying to help them have a baby. I told her the baby would have two dads and she said "Wow! That baby is so lucky! Dad's are FUN!"
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Words of Wisdom From Dr. Seuss
I saw this on Facebook earlier this week and shared it with my Facebook friends, which isn't something I typically do but it struck a chord with me...
Then yesterday, I received a copy of my psychological evaluation from the clinic that I had previously worked with in L.A. In it was this little gem, based on my "Personality Assessment Inventory", from Dr. B - "She is likely to value her independence and appears less concerned than most people about the opinions of others." I guess that explains my affinity for Dr. Seuss.
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Where We're At Now
Today M, C and I got together to sign contracts (it's "official"!) and meet with their fertility doctor for a consultation - we are using Advanced Fertility Care. I love this clinic - the doctor and all the staff were organized, thorough, compassionate and really took the time to explain the process in great detail.
Fortunately, most of my screenings have already been completed and, equally fortunately, we were able to get more screenings done today (ultrasound for me - since I conveniently just started a new cycle plus "swimmer" analysis and bloodwork for M and C); so we should be able to move forward pretty quickly!
I have a funny story to tell and I'm pretty sure M and C have a story to tell - but I don't want to scare everyone away with TMI on post number 3 sooooo....
Next up: bloodwork and sonohysterogram for me; and psychological exams for M and C. Then back to the clinic for a follow up on August 2nd. We should get a better idea of what time frame we are looking at then - we're all hoping for an August transfer!
Fortunately, most of my screenings have already been completed and, equally fortunately, we were able to get more screenings done today (ultrasound for me - since I conveniently just started a new cycle plus "swimmer" analysis and bloodwork for M and C); so we should be able to move forward pretty quickly!
I have a funny story to tell and I'm pretty sure M and C have a story to tell - but I don't want to scare everyone away with TMI on post number 3 sooooo....
Next up: bloodwork and sonohysterogram for me; and psychological exams for M and C. Then back to the clinic for a follow up on August 2nd. We should get a better idea of what time frame we are looking at then - we're all hoping for an August transfer!
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Putting It Out There In The Universe: Finding M & C
Fresh off a failed transfer, in April 2012, I knew I wanted to find a new set of Intended Parents (IPs) to work with but I also knew that my "perfect match" would be hard to find - and, as much as I wanted to do a surrogacy journey, I wasn't willing to compromise on my morals. I would not want to abort or selectively reduce, unless my life were at risk, and I strongly preferred a single embryo transfer to reduce the risk of multiples, and increase the chance of being able to birth at home. I knew it would be hard to find IPs who were looking for the same things.
On May 6th, I posted an ad on surromomsonline.com - detailing myself and what I was looking for in IPs. Over the next 30 days, I received a dozen replies. Some obvious scams, some heartbreaking stories, some couples from far away...but none exactly what I was looking for. I remember telling my husband one night, when I had almost convinced myself that my "perfect match" didn't exist, that I would love to find a local couple, someone who I could help become parents (i.e. have their first child)...and I thought it would be kind of cool to help a gay couple.
Lesson Number One: Put it out there in the universe and see what happens.
On May 31st, I received an email from M. He and his partner, C, were looking for the right gestational carrier to help them become parents. After several emails back and forth, it was obvious that we clicked but M & C were heading out of town on vacation and then, almost immediately upon their return, my family and I were heading out of town on vacation. Finally, we were able to meet in person, on July 7th, over lunch. We talked and laughed, and my husband and I felt instantly comfortable with them.
M & C are sweet, funny, down to earth and - most importantly - they are going to be amazing daddies. It is an honor to be chosen to help them in their journey to parenthood, to be entrusted with their most precious treasure - their future child. I can't wait to see the adventure that awaits us!
On May 6th, I posted an ad on surromomsonline.com - detailing myself and what I was looking for in IPs. Over the next 30 days, I received a dozen replies. Some obvious scams, some heartbreaking stories, some couples from far away...but none exactly what I was looking for. I remember telling my husband one night, when I had almost convinced myself that my "perfect match" didn't exist, that I would love to find a local couple, someone who I could help become parents (i.e. have their first child)...and I thought it would be kind of cool to help a gay couple.
Lesson Number One: Put it out there in the universe and see what happens.
On May 31st, I received an email from M. He and his partner, C, were looking for the right gestational carrier to help them become parents. After several emails back and forth, it was obvious that we clicked but M & C were heading out of town on vacation and then, almost immediately upon their return, my family and I were heading out of town on vacation. Finally, we were able to meet in person, on July 7th, over lunch. We talked and laughed, and my husband and I felt instantly comfortable with them.
M & C are sweet, funny, down to earth and - most importantly - they are going to be amazing daddies. It is an honor to be chosen to help them in their journey to parenthood, to be entrusted with their most precious treasure - their future child. I can't wait to see the adventure that awaits us!
When One Door Closes, Another One Opens
I can't blog my journey with M & C without first mentioning my journey with my beautiful friend J and her husband L, as they were my first foray into surrogacy and my present journey never would have come to be without them.
J & L are parents of a son, the old fashioned way, and twin girls, through a gestational surrogate. It was J who introduced me to the world of surrogacy, back when I was still pregnant with my youngest child. It was J who videoed the home waterbirth of said child. It was J that I was friends with for 3 years before we traveled together to California for the transfer of their one frozen embryo, their only hope of a 4th child, into me. And it was J that I delivered the devastating news to, 2 weeks later, that that transfer had resulted in a chemical pregnancy.
For J & L, their surrogacy journey had ended. They decided that a 4th child was not meant to be, that their family was complete with three beautiful children and they were excitedly looking forward to where their life was going to go from there.
For me, my journey through surrogacy was just beginning. My time in the lives of J & L had lit a fire in my soul. I knew I had the power to make the dreams of a couple who desperately wanted a child to come true - to grow their baby for them from the first cells of life and to hand their baby to them with the knowledge that that child will come to be their greatest accomplishment in life. That is what I wanted to do, that is what I was meant to do.
J & L are parents of a son, the old fashioned way, and twin girls, through a gestational surrogate. It was J who introduced me to the world of surrogacy, back when I was still pregnant with my youngest child. It was J who videoed the home waterbirth of said child. It was J that I was friends with for 3 years before we traveled together to California for the transfer of their one frozen embryo, their only hope of a 4th child, into me. And it was J that I delivered the devastating news to, 2 weeks later, that that transfer had resulted in a chemical pregnancy.
For J & L, their surrogacy journey had ended. They decided that a 4th child was not meant to be, that their family was complete with three beautiful children and they were excitedly looking forward to where their life was going to go from there.
For me, my journey through surrogacy was just beginning. My time in the lives of J & L had lit a fire in my soul. I knew I had the power to make the dreams of a couple who desperately wanted a child to come true - to grow their baby for them from the first cells of life and to hand their baby to them with the knowledge that that child will come to be their greatest accomplishment in life. That is what I wanted to do, that is what I was meant to do.
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